GTKTPRFP - Fred Thompson: Part I: (Seriousness Level: Severe)

*Disclaimer - For every candidate I’m going to devote 2 hours to look over their opinions on key issues and pointing out where I disagree. Then I’ll be looking at the major issues playing in the media that will dissuade people from voting for them. I’m trying to summarize thoughts, so please don’t take my words as absolute fact. If you have any grips with my summary, please look to the candidate’s website for their official opinion. This is my interpretations from 2 hours ONLY. I reserve the right to change my opinion as this proceeds.

Baseball Card Statistics:

Full Name: Fred Dalton Thompson
Age: 65
Marital Status: 2nd Wife, Jeri – Married for 5 years
Party Affiliation: Republican
Most Recent Office Held: Former US Senator from Tennessee
College: Memphis State/Vanderbilt
Religious Affiliation: Church of Christ
Eric’s Official Nickname: Right Said Fred
Official Candidate website: http://www.fred08.com/
Randomness: Played a district attorney named Arthur for 5 years on Law & Order.

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Pre-issue thoughts

I was making conversation with one of my clients about 6 months ago and knew he loved politics. So I casually asked who he thought the Republican candidate for President was going to be. Without hesitation, he said Right Said Fred would be the next President of the United States. My client is a self-made millionaire and a VERY smart man, so I’ve felt Right Said Fred was a front-runner for quite a while. The common line that keeps being uttered is: When is Right Said Fred going to break out of his shell. Nothing about this man stands out. He’s a prototype Republican candidate, but without ANY excitement. But he does have a couple things going that I like. He’s from Tennessee, he graduated law school from Vanderbilt, and his wife is a landslide favorite in the hottest potential first wife race. She is what we call a trophy wife. So with Right Said Fred; I want to like him, I’m just kinda bored with him. He has this incredible TV personality, but it hasn’t translated into the race. I think he should wear shirts that say: “Remember me, I’m the Law & Order guy” or “Arthur Branch and Jack McCoy 2008”.

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Interesting Issue Watch

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Immigration – For the most part, Right Said Fred is identical to other Republican candidates on immigration. But something stood out to me, and not in a good way. On his website, he starts out with this statement: “The United States is a nation of immigrants. Throughout our history, legal immigrants have brought energy, ideas, strength, and diversity to our country, our economy, and our culture.” Well, we are a nation of immigrants, well..besides the Native Americans, but that’s something for another time. What got to me was later in his immigration section when he said he was committed to: “Uniting Americans by welcoming legal immigrants willing to learn English, assimilate into our communities, and become productive citizens.” So on one hand, he praises the diversity of immigrants, but then is committed to making them assimilate into our communities. I know he just wants them to become productive, but the word assimilate is a very dangerous one. It’s basically loss of native culture and being absorbed into a new one. So listen up foreigners. If Right Said Fred becomes president be sure to bribe the immigration office with hot dogs, fireworks, and bad mortgages.

National Security – To come up with his platform on National Security, I imagine his people sat around a table and basically said: “Ok, lets just paste together a bunch of scary terrorism-related words”. Here are some of my favorite words and phrases from his 150-word intro paragraph. Protect the American People; Way of life; Radical Islam; Al Qaeda; Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD); Kill Millions; Defeat the Terrorists Abroad; Iraq and Afghanistan; Global War; Will to Fight and Win; A Weakened America; We must persevere; Mapping out a Clear Vision; (and my personal favorite broad meaningless phrase)Comprehensive Strategy.

So nearly a 1/3 of his words were either scary or political jargon. I’m kinda scared to leave my house now. I want a candidate to be blunt. I wish it said: “people hate us, they’ll always hate us. We need to figure how to prevent Americans from being murdered because of that hate.” Now THAT’S a blunt/broad statement I can deal with.

He also promotes: “A judicial system that deals with the realities of terrorists and unlawful enemy combatants.” English translation: “If I want to kick down your door because you last name sounds funny, I shouldn’t need a warrant. Let’s go Patriot Act”

Family Values – He states that his pro-life and against same-sex marriage. RANT: It’s hard for me to see how people are for same-sex marriage, but are also pro-choice. I agree that a government should not be able to discriminate against individuals for life-style choices. I am personally against same-sex marriage (because of personal beliefs), but I also realize that from a national level, our citizens should not be held to different standards. I mean, if you say you’re for same-sex marriage, don’t you HAVE to be pro-life. Not even from a religious point of view. Doesn’t the unborn child deserve the same rights that are being demanded for same-sex couples? We must protect the rights of individuals. When a woman becomes pregnant, she still should have rights, just as long as they aren’t at the expense of others, specifically the one inside her. I mean, we ban smoking in public because of second-hand smoke, but abortion is ok….really? By saying a mother’s right to choose is more important that a child’s life; you are making a similar argument to “traditional couples” deserve better governmental treatment than alternative life-style couples. You are taking one segment of the population and treating them better than another. If you want equal rights for everybody, then promote equal rights for EVERYBODY.

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Eric’s Gut Feeling After 2 Hours of Research

Look, this guy’s great, but he’s a clone. I can’t find a reason to vote for him, but no real hindrances from voting for him. Maybe that’s a good thing. If you want a safe, bland President, here’s you man. I may vote for him, but he’ll need to stand up and be a little more outspoken. Stop reading from a script and speak from the heart. COME ON ARTHUR!

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Eric’s Official Rating

I’ll give him a 75. He’s normal enough. If he ever wakes up and uses his personality, he may win this thing.

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Tomorrow Afternoon: Rudy Giuliani